Chapter 9: State Swim Meet

Big news!!!

I made it to the state championships and got 12th out of 33 kids, and went on March 9th, 2013. It was awesome! I also made it to finals in state and got 16th out of 16 kids. (That was awesome finding out I got last place AND gained time.)

 



Moving on, I made it into advanced, (The highest group on the swim team;) and am doing great. Except for this love hate relationship I have going on with my new swim coach. Every night I come home crying because I am so tired and my arms are so sore. Did you know that you have a muscle in your elbow and if it is not strong enough for your workout, your elbow starts to hurt, which is what is happening to me.

 

So there are a couple of girls on the team, (Which I am not naming;) who don't do anything to help clean up. Me and one other girl do the lane lines, and one kid picks up 10 peoples stuff!!! And I am now the mean one who takes longer in car pool and cleans up everything!!! So how do I get along with her?  I don't know.  So I got to go to bed.  See ya -- Kiley.

chapter 8: Mom's turn

It's Mom's turn to post.  We get a turn sometimes, don't we. I have been really impressed with Kiley that last few days.  Her complaining has been minimal and she has a had a really good outlook on things.  As she stated earlier, she is one tuff chick.  I think she gets that from me. (hehehehe)

She has now been off all medication for 6 days.  She has been doing really well.  However, I think things are starting to hit home for her.  We did have a small breakdown as we were prepairing her room.  Taking Kayti's bed out and bringing in a table, chairs and television.  That was the point when she realized this is really happening. 

 

Thanks to the lovely young ladies who came to our "Polar Bear Camping".  Kiley sure did have a fun time.  I am also endlessly thankful for all the loving words she is hears every day.  A few little activities brought over were also a fun surprise. 

 

So here's the MOM part.  I'll just say sorry to Kiley now for embarassing her at this point.  I'm gonna' get a little churchy now.  We were having a discussion on the atonement in class yesterday.  As I was listening, I think I found a new understanding of how it all works.  This is not gospel, just my opinion.  The question was asked, If Christ died for our sins and took upon himself the pain and suffering for us, then why do we have to suffer at all?  God only gives us challenges that we can handle.  I have often times over the last few weeks of watching Kiley suffer wonder if that were a true statement.  Although, I have had not felt any physical pain or sufferend in anyway through her illness.  I have never felt so out of control and helpless in all of my life.  Watching you children suffer and not be able to do anything about it, I think, is the hardest trial you can go through.  Over the last few weeks of this though, I have proven the statement true.  This is where the atonement comes in.  I think if I truely had to suffer all of the hardships of this situation, I would kill over instantly and probably Kiley as well.  We have been given the challenges we can handle and the Lord has taken over the rest.  He has sent people into our lives to help us with our physical needs.  He has taken the pain from Kiley through her medication and unbelievably caring Dr's.  He has given me a wonderful husband who supports, loves and holds my hand during the hardest times in life.  The ways that the Lord has born my pain and suffering is endless.  I am so grateful for the atonement and for the gospel in my life and the life of my children.   I want Kiley to read this and know that I have a testimony of the atonement and hopefully recogize the gift of strength and endurance the Lord has given her.  She is a special young lady and look forward to having the best parts of her back in full force.

 

As the days go by, and we are down to one, the fear in me is definately growing. I know she will be fine and this treatment will be have litle is no side effects.  However, sometimes the head and the heart don't communicate very well.  I know she thinks that other people don't understand, but I hope she knows that I do.  I do understand the lonliness, the fear, the saddness and the anger that has been part of her life.  They have been part of mine as well.  She wants this to go away and I want to take it for her.  Yet, here we are sitting side by side going through it together.  I wish I could say that I have helped her through this, but she in all actuality has helped me through it.  Just when I thought I couldn't possibly love my babies any more, I realize I am wrong.  The love keeps growing. 

 



chapter 7

I had a really good time last night.  My Mom is grouchy right now, and it making me feel kind of scared.  I feel this way because she's been frustrated and mad at the computer.  I want to put a picture on my blog and she can't remember how to do it.  This makes me feel kind of sad because I like sharing my pictures.  When my Mom gets frustrated and upset I get scared because it seems like she is mad at me.  I know she is not really mad at me, but I sometimes feel like I need to make her happy again.  I have tears right now because I am really tired because I stayed up too late last night with my friends.  It was really fun while it lasted, but I'm paying for it now.  Everything hurts and I feel totally drained of energy.  I am having a hard time concentrating on this post.  My mind keeps wandering to things like:

I think my sweater is too small

Why am I crying

What am I going to do tomorrow

What am I going to wear on Monday

I just seem to not stay on track of what I am doing. 

Anyway, back to my weekend.  I have a few of my besties, Nicole and Emmalie over for a sleep over.  It was coolio.  (as Uncle Clayton would say).

My Mom and Dad got the camping trailer in our backyard working so that we could have a sleepover in there.  We have a microwave, TV, ipod and dock, makeup (oh yeah, that's right I said make up) and a phone to call the house with any items we may need.  Also, we took a ton of photo's.  Hence me being so upset about the pictures not working on this post.  We just looked so dang cute!!

I think that I have the best Mom ever.  Why? you ask.  Let's change topics again.  Earlier this week, I had to right a mother's essay for school.  It was titled, "What My Mother Means To Me".  I was the first one to hand it into my teacher.  It took all of about 20 minutes to write a 150 word essay because the topic was so easy.  I mean, there is so much to say about what my Mom means to me.  This part is kind of embarrassing , but what the heck.  I totally cried while writing it. 

Here is the essay that I wrote:

What My Mother Means To Me

The word mother means sacrifice, service and comfort.  I am a lucky girl and know that not every kid gets a Mom like mine. 

My Mom makes sacrifices for my diseases.  I have Celiac, Graves and Hashimoto’s.  She works daily to make money for my needs and wants.  She sacrifices her spare time to help with homework, play games and be my friend.

She serves me by cooking my special gluten free diet.  She does my families laundry every Saturday while we go skiing.  Without her hard work, my medications would not be paid for.

Mother is comforting.  This has been the greatest gift she has given me.  My medical condition makes me obviously different than kids.  She makes me feel special, individual and unique instead of weird and different.  She is very compassionate.  She cries when I cry.  She laughs when I laugh.

 

 

In closing, my mom ROCKS!

 

Like I said it had to be kept to a maximum of 150 words so I had to shorten things up a bit.  I know people probably don't want to ready the endless babbling that goes on here, but although I love all you, this is really for me and expressing how I feel.  My mom is making a book of all my posts so that later in my life, I can look back and remember how strong I am.  At least that's what she says.  My body might be weak, but I am one tuff chick.

I will be posting again soon.  I go to start treatment on Wednesday.  I am not looking forward to that.  Too many Dr's and too many tests.  Trying not to think about it much. (very hard to do)

Kiley is Outie!!!



chapter :6

chapter: 6

 

 

We got the news today.  My treatment is going to start on January 16, 2013. I take my last dose of  medicine (except the propanalol for my heart) on January 11.  I'm afraid that I will be super jittery and not be able to concentrate very well.  Hopefully I will be able to sleep, but experience tells me that I will be very tired for those last few days.   I have to be down in Salt Lake on January 16 for some tests and then back again on January 17 for more tests and the treatment.  YIKES!  I'm hoping to get a hotel room that night so we don't have to spend so much time driving in the car.  But, of course, my lame folks say it depends on the money side of life.  Apparently this treatment is kind of expensive.  But, they remind me, it is totally worth it to make me feel better in the long run.

 

Here is what is happening, at least what I understand about it.  After I get the radioactive iodine (we like to call it a milkshake) I get to go home.  It will be completely painless.  Then we will hurry home.  People aren't supposed to be closer than 6 feet to me for longer than 20 minutes.  When we get home I spend three days in my room with a t.v., computer, books and hopefully some other really fun stuff.  I really want to skype with my school class. 

hint, hint Mr. Haramoto.

The little brat holes (aka: Karter and Kayti) come home on Sunday night or Monday morning and I go back to school on Tuesday.  I don't actually think they are brat holes or at least not most of the time. 

 

Sounds pretty chill to my brain but the butterflies in my tummy disagree.  I'm not really looking forward to spending the days in total solitude.  My mom talking to me from the door sounds pretty un-fun.  Not like any of this going to be fun, though. I overheard my Mom talking to the scheduling lady and they have to wash my sheets, pillow, blankets and clothes all separate from the rest of the families.  Here's the big question:  If this is bad for everyone else; what on earth is it doing to me?

Anybody?  Anybody?

 

I want to do something wild and crazy before I go to get my treatment. I have this idea that if I do something really out there and crazy maybe it would make the really hard stuff a little more fun. So far I have had a couple of idea's:

tattoo: shot down

shaved head: shot down

pink hair: ??? still up for grabs

If anyone out there has an idea, let me know. I really want some other opinions on this topic! If you don't want to post on my blog, email me at kileyaj2002@hotmail.com.

Please, email me!!!

 

This treatment is definitely going to give me something to think about.  I'll try not to get scared but I will not be able to keep the nerves away.

chapter 5

chapter 5: got a cast!!!!!!



So, I got a cast today and it is pink sparkles!!!  It is a little hard to type, but I am doing it. It has a big mustache on it so I can put it up to my mouth and it looks like I have a gigantic mustache that people can sign in.  Soooooooooooooooo cool!!!!!!!  Makes me look like the Lorax, huh?

 

 

Here is a collage of pictures from when I was getting the cast put on.

 

 

My friend is coming over and we are going to party all night.......or until I fall asleep! 

 

HAPPY NEW YEARS!!!!!!!!!

chapter 4: broken arm

Merry Christmas!!!

 

Or maybe I should say Crappy Christmas.

I broke my arm sledding (on my feet) down the driveway. 

Very painful, Lesson learned.

 

 

Actually, I wouldn't say Crappy Christmas, just crappy Christmas morning.  Thankfully, the Dr. took good care of me in the ER and I'm back home blogging about it.  It could have been much worse. 

Like:  I could have been stranded in the middle of the desert with no water, food or medical help.  I could be starving, without my medicine and be dying of thirst.

THAT would be worse.

 

 

What did the big man bring you all for Christmas?  In a mean twist of the cosmic universe that I have spoken of previously, got me nothing but swim gear, which, is what I really wanted and loved.  Right up until I broke my arm and rendered it useless for 6 to 8 weeks.  That sucked!

 

Nonetheless, I do love Christmas.  I love spending time with my family, even if it is in the ER.  I love Christmas songs and making up funny twists to the lyrics.  For example,

 

Dashing through the house,

'cause I can't find my left boot

Got to head outside,

this one will be a bute!

The powder's two feet deep,

Whole front lawn is white

We'll stomp and we'll attack

and we won't come back 'til midnight.

Snowball fight

Snowball fight

Join us if you dare.

We'll make sure a clump of snow

lands in you underwear

oh...

Snowball fight

Snowball fight

Favorite winter sport.

We'll pelt until it melts,

and we'll never leave our fort.

 

 

I can't take credit for that, it came from one of our families favorite song books, "Where did they hide my presents?" by Alan Katz and David Catrow. But, I do love it.

 

My family went sledding and I'm stuck in bed with this computer, my Mom and a book.  Once again, I say, "LESSON LEARNED"

 

One more quick thing.  I need to apologize for the last post about my emails being ignored.  My Grandpa Jensen didn't get them because he was sick in the hospital.  Sorry Grandpa, I hope you feel better soon! 

 

 



chapter 3

I want to blog...............but nothing is coming to my mind.  Actually, the real problem is, there is too much coming to my mind so I don't know where to start. 

 

I'm tired right now because I just finished crying.  I was crying because I have been talking about my treatment.  I am so frustrated.  The cosmic universe apparently doesn't care what I want.  What I want is to be magically perfect.  My mom says that everybody wants that, sick or not sick.  That's God's big joke on us.  To make it through this life so perfectly imperfect. 

 

I got a letter from my Aunt Jen yesterday.  It rocked.  She gave me finger mustache tattoo's.  She also gave me a sticker that says "Love Pirate"  I asked if I could get a real tattoo of it on my back.  My Mom said, "no way, Missy."  What a lame-o.  Now I want to shave my head like Aunt Jen did when she was younger.  Mom said she would think about it and maybe even do it with me.  She's the best. 

 

I think my life sucks right now.  I have to make too choose from two crap-hole options.  I guess I'm choosing "milkshake".  AKA: radio-iodine.  (I will most likely have to drink it, that's why we call it a milkshake, it just sounds better.)  My mom promised we would find lots of fun things to do for two days of alone time.  I'm mostly hoping for a TV and computer in my room.  I think if I play my cards right, I might get my Mom to shave her head.  That would be awesome.  Who's with me!?!  Aunt Jen shaved her head because she going to State with her high school swim team.  I'm hoping some day I will make it to state, too. 

 

I am also upset because, I invited my Grandma Jensen, Grandpa Jensen and Aaron Dad to Christmas Eve and they haven't emailed me back an answer.  Hello, tomorrow is Christmas Eve.  How rude!!  I wish that I could snap my fingers and make them do what I want.  I did, however, get a gift card from my Great Grandma Jensen.  That was super nice. 

 

I didn't take my medicine this afternoon, so I am crazy tired.   I wish my body would just work already.  All these stupid pills are starting to get on my nerves.  I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them!! Oh yeah, did I mention that I HATE THEM?

 

Looking forward to Christmas and loving the break from school.  I plan on skiing, sharing the Christmas spirit, watching lots of Christmas movies and NOT doing homework.  Sorry, Mr. Haramoto.   

 

Thank you to all of my friends and family for their love and support.  You are making this the best Christmas ever, even though my body feels likes it's the worst.  My mind is on strike from my body.  Why do I feel like I need a Twinkie?  ha, ha. 

 

Merry Christmas!!!